ANASTASIA IGNATENKO ©
ANASTASIA IGNATENKO ™

Be Real, not Fake

Our lives are often superficial. It's like a movie, sometimes gorgeous, but it only sometimes has enough depth. We know how to appear, make an impression, and look appropriate. We know how to be silent when necessary and to be good and kind. But inside, we do not change and year after year we remain the same who we really are. Transformation doesn't happen in five minutes.

It's very easy to be beautiful for the occasion. It takes two hours to prepare, put on makeup, and choose beautiful clothes. For the sake of strangers, we are ready to do hair styling, lose weight, and do anti-ageing procedures. What about our daily life?

It’s so difficult to be beautiful at home when you want to relax, put on your stretched trousers and T-shirts, dressing gowns and other comfortable clothes, wash off your makeup, take off your jewellery, and make a simple ponytail out of your curls. Where the most beautiful clothes are hidden in the closet so as not to be dirty and damaged.

How easy it is to serve the world and do good for strangers, and how difficult it is to help those around you. Wash the dishes after yourself, take out the trash, cook delicious and healthy food, wash clothes, hold your tongue, help with something simple and real. Insanely difficult. It is better to save the entire planet than to make life a little easier for those around you. Helping a little is no longer so interesting, “doesn’t count” and doesn’t inspire. And give us only great things, great achievements.

How easy it is to be kind to the world and strangers. And how difficult it is to be truly kind within your family. Accept the characteristics of loved ones, and tolerate their bad mood, condition, and mistakes. Be genuinely kind to your loved one, children and pets. Sometimes you really want to throw out all your tension on them.

How easy it is to forgive anything to someone passing by - you stepped on someone’s foot, said the wrong word, and how to forgive even little things to someone who is near you.

How easy it is to be a woman “out there” - on the street, at work, in the store. Play happiness, contentment, harmony. And how difficult it is to be a woman at home, where everyone sees right through you, where you don’t have time to put on any mask, where everyone seems to be testing your strength and femininity. Where you make so many mistakes and blunders that you cry, because you understand that femininity is like walking to the moon.

How easy it is to smile at random people and how difficult it is to smile at home, among loved ones. At home, there are continuous worries and tragedies of a universal scale: garbage not taken out, clothes scattered, dirty dishes. And these problems need to be solved with a grave face, stern as a stone.

It is easy to see your self-realization outside, make a career and become a professional. But how difficult it is to see that a woman’s real career is to be a woman and a mother. And what a steep and high career ladder this is. You climb it and climb it, but it never ends. And it becomes more and more complex with each step. And it’s unclear what will happen next. No diplomas, vacations, or promotions for you. Only constant work - physical and mental. And the height, if you happen to fall, is simply enormous. Either it’s a job where everything is clear. Everything is transparent and very predictable.

It is so common for the convenience of guests to shut up their family members so that they behave as expected, for the sake of the opinion of mothers in the sandbox, to force their baby to share shovels, to enthusiastically cook a million different complex dishes for guests, and to brew porridge from a bag for your children every day. Each of us knows how to be the ideal wife from a magazine next to her husband during his corporate evening. Smile, be silent, praise. One day a year, everyone can do this. But what about daily? Oh no, it's too complicated.

How easy it is to love the whole world and how difficult it is to love the one next to you.

How easy it is to serve some distant God, to mechanically perform generally accepted rituals a couple of times a year, the meaning of which not everyone remembers, and how difficult it is to love his children, who are next to you every day.

The habit of judging others is often a sign of self-disrespect, selfishness and immaturity. Each of us is a child of God. God loves his children. If I want to love God, I must learn to love those he loves.

How easy it is to live for show in the format of a social network - to demonstrate your success, happiness and wealth to everyone. Placing food on a plate beautifully so that others can see how beautiful your lunch is forces small children to pose awkwardly for a long time for a good shot. But how difficult it is to actually become happy. For this, you need to actually change. Change within yourself. Don't pretend to change, but make a real change. And it hurts. It's complicated. It's a long time.

Each of us chooses where to make efforts and where to invest the energy. Want to get quick results that don't require any effort? Or still tune in to the fact that first, there is work: mental work to change your habits, lifestyle, way of thinking, and physical work - to bring all this to life. And yes, the result will take a while. It will not be so bright, and no one will perceive your achievements as success. But something else is essential. How will you feel? And at what point will the inner feeling “it doesn’t matter what it looks like, what matters is what it really is” come to you.

Maturity is always about being. Maturity is always more difficult and labour-intensive. But only a mature position yields sweet fruits in due course - in this case, in the form of our own happiness.

The only way to change this world is to go home and truly love your family. Only this will help change the world for the better.
Physical Emotional